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Track Number

14

Length

3:57

Lyrics

TriforceBun

Melody

TriforceBun

Instrumental

TriforceBun

The Samurai Always Wins is Cody Hackins' testimony song. Unlike previous witnesses, who lied on the stand to cover up their own guilt, Cody presents a new challenge to Phoenix. Cody is a child with an over-active imagination who hero-worships The Steel Samurai. As such, he cannot fathom the idea of his hero losing, and has trouble separating reality from the television series. Phoenix must force the truth out of Cody, without being too harsh on the child. Edgeworth also behaves strangely, becoming suspiciously protective of the witness despite his normally ruthless nature.


Reprises: Path to Glory (The Steel Samurai Theme Song)


Cast:

Cody Hackins, Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth,

The Judge, Will Powers

Lyrics


CODY: [sung]
When the moon is bright with a pale, blue light
And trouble is nearby.
Only one man fights for what is right:
The Steel Samurai!
And all heroes know when it's time to go
And face their destined fate!
For who should show, but his deadly foe,
The Evil Magistrate!
I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great! 

   

PHOENIX: I'm to understand that you're a big Samurai fan.
You watch the show every week.
Now you have a hand in being a hero to this man,
The truth is the only thing I seek. 

   

CODY: With a samurai punch and a samurai slash, 
That battle had caused a deafening crash!
He dodged a strike with a samurai dash,
The villain paid for his sins!
With a samurai slap and a samurai chop, 
That samurai pain just never stopped!
He came on top while the Magistrate dropped, 
'Cause the Samurai always wins!

   

EDGEWORTH: Wright! The truth is, this fragile youth is 
Sure of that ruthless attack!
So, stop pressing him, 
Hoping that he'll crack!


PHOENIX:  I'm trying to keep the Steel Samurai out of jail...
Please, if you could, try to go into more detail. 

   

CODY (PHOENIX): What I saw that day was a grim display-
An evil man's demise. (Uh-oh.)
And I stood nearby when the Samurai
shot lasers from his eyes! (Wait, what?)
And he flew up high, reaching to the sky
A bright metallic sheen!
The hero chose to strike a pose
And then he flew the scene!
It was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!

   

PHOENIX: [spoken] OBJECTION! 
Cody, what sort of murderer uses a "samurai slap!?"
Or for that matter, shoots lasers from his eyes?

   

EDGEWORTH: OBJECTION! 
Clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination-- 

   

PHOENIX:  OBJECTION! 
You know as well as I do that the witness is being vague!
He still hasn't testified to seeing the finishing stab. 
And I think I know why...
[sung]
Cody, you have shown you've got a camera of your own.
You never miss any shots.
If you could just show a picture of the killing blow,
it could help us connect the dots... 

'Cause you keep all pictures in an album titled "Path to Glory."
With the killing blow from every show to tell a hero's story!
And I'll tell you this, something is amiss, 
for there's no reason or rhyme...
And for what it's worth, no way on Earth 
Did Cody see this crime!
Witness, TESTIFY! 
This is the last time! 


JUDGE: [Spoken] Mr Wright, what is the meaning of this?

[simultaneous]

PHOENIX:

Please, no more lies, 
I have tried to use a light touch. 
I'm trying to preserve the 
Show that you love so much.

CODY: 

With a samurai kick and a samurai punch 
And a samurai triple-suplex-crunch, 
The Samurai flipped and spun a bunch-- 
He'd win no matter the cost! 
With a samurai chop and a samurai slap, 
The Magistrate felt a sickening snap, 
And he was about to take a dirt nap, 
'Cause the Samurai's never lost!

EDGEWORTH: 

Wright, you dunce, stop this at once, 
You're badgering a child--I won't allow it! 
Cease these accusations please,
This questioning is wild! 














EDGEWORTH:

Wright, you fool, this kid's in school,

You treat him like a thug--have you no mercy?

Stop wasting this courtroom's time

And quit acting so smug.
















EDGEWORTH:

Wright, don't bluff, that's quite enough,

Now cease this reprimand--OBJECTION!

A small child alone in court

You cannot understand!


JUDGE:

Calm yourself, Mr. Wright,

I don't want to see a fight!

Please one person at a time,

We can figure out this crime!

OVERRULED, OVERRULED!

Who do you think you have fooled?

We are done, everyone!

PHOENIX:

Don't be alarmed, for no 
Harm will come to this man.
Listen to me, he'll walk free
Thanks to one true fan.














PHOENIX:

Cody, calm down.

Take it easy if you know how.

Cody, relax.

I need facts and I need them now.


WILL:

I don't mind

If I'm jailed downtown.

I just don't want to

Let all the kiddies down.











PHOENIX:

Please, tell the truth,

This is just a fictitious tale--OBJECTION!

I'm trying to keep

The Steel Samurai out of jail.


WILL:

If I go,

Promise me one thing:

No kids know

'Bout this merciless killing...

CODY:

With a samurai dodge and a samurai block 
And a samurai ultra-tough-headlock, 
The poor Magistrate could only gawk, 
For he had no help from his friends. 
The Samurai said, "Winners don't do drugs!" 
As he wiped out waves of the Magistrate's thugs, 
Up against his power, they were just like bugs, 
His offence was so intense! 


CODY:

And he did it all while saving a village of nuns

From a hundred-foot monster weighing in at 50 tons,

And breath with the heat of a thousand blue suns,

and a GUN THAT FIRES SHARKS!

And a mile-high volcano was erupting in the east,

And the Samurai plugged it with the 50-ton beast,

Then he fed the starving children with the newly-founded feast,   

And he cleaned our national parks!


CODY:

With a samurai parry and a samurai guard,

The Magistrate shivered, all beaten and scarred.

The Steel Samurai kicked his butt so hard,

It left permanent footprints!

With the Samurai Spear gleaming in the sun,

His Samurai battle almost done,

He had his fun and had finally won.

CODY:

‘Cause the Samurai ALWAYS wins!


JUDGE:

Order! Order!

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